


Incorrect DC Quotes (Sorta)

by Rose39



Series: Incorrect Quotes(Sorta) [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), DCU, Young Justice - All Media Types
Genre: Adult Jokes, F/M, Incorrect Quotes, M/M, Multi, Peer Pressuring, Slice of Life, under age drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-08-29
Packaged: 2019-05-24 10:24:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 48
Words: 3,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14952873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rose39/pseuds/Rose39
Summary: A Bunch Of Things I Thought It Would Be Funny If DC Heroes Said





	1. Lesbianism

**Author's Note:**

> I Do Not Own Detective Comics Or It's Characters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not my quote

Zatanna is upset after her break up with Dick, and complaining to Artemis, who's not fully listening anymore.

"I'll just become a lesbian," Zatanna waits for some sort of reaction from her friend.  
  
"Any woman would be lucky to have you," Artemis assures.

Zatanna pouts and walks away.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize the quote?


	2. Monkey Business

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not my quote

"This is so exciting, I haven't seen my monkey in almost a year," Garfield chirps as he walks to the zoo where he was forced to put Monkey a while back with Tim and Bart.

"What, you never look down in the shower?" Bart asks.

Tim hits him and Gar makes a disgusted face.

"Not okay, dude," Tim huffs.

"Oh, please. I'm not allowed to make *one* joke in the monkey-is-penis genre?" Bart complains.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize the quote?


	3. Damian's Offspring

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not my quote

Damian and his brothers are all outside of the delivery room, waiting for his child to be born.

"You know, we should probably ask the doctor if she even knows how to deliver a baby that's half human, half *pure evil*!" Tim remarks after twenty tense, silent minutes.

Damian hits him in the face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize the quote?


	4. Little Lady

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not my quote

Wally asked Artemis about her relationship with her father when she was young.

"Oh, it was horrible. He called me "little lady"," Artemis decides to save everything else for another time.

Small douses...

"Ugh, I hate when my father calls me that," Wally nods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize the quote?


	5. Stupid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not my quote

Barry just finished his Special-Speedster-Alcohol and looks straight at Arthur.

"What are you looking at?" 

"This may seem like a really stupid question.." Barry begins.

"There *are* no stupid questions," Arthur tries to reassure him, mostly to hear what he has to say, and probably ridicule him anyways.

"You inherit 5 million dollars the same day aliens land on the earth and say they're going to blow it up in 2 days. What do you do?" Barry asks like it's an intense problem and he needs an answer now.

"That's the stupidest question I've ever heard," Arthur facepalms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize the quote?


	6. Our Job

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not my quote

"Damn cops," Jason complains as he and Dick hide and watch the police try to sort out a situation with the Penguin, and fail miserably.

The two leave on Batman's order.

"They were just doing their job," Dick pats his brother's back.

"No, they were doing our job, only they don't know it so they suck at it," Jason crosses his arms and pouts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize the quote?


	7. Candy Canes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not my quote

Jon is on his first “Mission” with The Team.

An all night stakeout with Conner, but the younger SuperBoy is still excited.

* * *

 

Four hours in the kid fell asleep and Conner woke him up when it was time to head in and give their report.

"Why'd you let me fall asleep?" The younger whines.

"Because I am an awesome brother. What did you dream about?" Conner pats his “Brother”'s head.

"Lollipops and candycanes," Jon begrudgingly admits and follows his brother to the Zeta tubes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize the quote?


	8. “Too Gay”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not my quote

Bart is showing Tim the things the kids at school wrote about him online, to explain why he's so upset lately.

"Too gay to function?" Tim reads aloud and crosses his arm, "That's only ok when I say it."

"I Know!" Bart agrees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize the quote?


	9. Superman Being A Dad, Take 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not my quote

"Where's Conner?" Bruce asks as he comes into the Cave.

"He went out," Clark shrugs.

"He's grounded," The Dark Knight gives the Man Of Steel a deadpan look.

"Are they not suppose to be let out when they're grounded?" Clark asks.

Bruce facepalms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize the quote?
> 
> Do you thing there should be a mini series of Superman failing as a father? Comment if you do!


	10. The Good Stuff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not My Quote.
> 
> This happens pretty soon after Oliver takes in Roy.
> 
> Young Justice Universe.

"Ollie look, it's the good kush," Roy jokes to Oliver as they wait for their target in a dollar store, showing him some green dog treats.

"This is the dollar store, how good can it be?" Oliver jokes back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize The Quote?
> 
> I realized I wrote dad, which I don't think Roy has ever called Oliver, and I apologize, and have fixed that mistake.


	11. Too Many

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I Came Up With This One!

Bruce watches as Damian violently beats Tim with a stick, the poor teen can only really cover his face and hope for the best at this point.

Cass is sitting on Jason's chest while Stephanie paints his nails, the Outlaw throwing curses at the girls.

Dick is swinging off a chandelier, singing about his ass.

Terry is shirtlessly eating peanut butter and watching.

Duke is desperately trying not to be noticed and Barbra is typing away on her lap top.

"Alfred.." Bruce begins.

"Yes Master Bruce?"

"Is this all of them?"

"We are missing--"

"Holy Ghost Titties!" Helena screams from outside.

"There she is.." Bruce sighs.

"Done adopting children, Master Bruce?"

"Never."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I missed Luke, Harper, and Kate, but I feel like I missed someone else...
> 
> Please for the love of God, it's killing me.


	12. Superman Being A Dad, Take 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Quote. :)

"Hey, Dinah.." Superman waves at the heroine as he enters The Watch Tower.

"What did you do?" Black Canary asks.

"Conner came to me and asked where babies come from, in a moment of panic and a lapse of judgment, I told him that kissing with tongue got women pregnant and now he's freaking out because apparently him and M'gann have done it several times, and I don't know what to do," Clark explains.

"Clark, are you a fucking idiot?" Dinah yells.

"Apparently!" He yells back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kinda for CocoaSnow, thanks for the comment, here's part 2 like I said!
> 
> I need inspiration for part 3, or any other misquote y'all wanna see, so comment your suggestions, or hit me up, At Rosie39 on Tumbler.


	13. Which Kind?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A. My Quote!  
> B. Happens a few months before Young Justice episode 1.

Speedy, Aqualad, Kid Flash, And Robin are hanging out in Wally's kitchen while their mentors talk down town.

Kaldur picks up a video game and examines it, "Why is this in the kitchen?"

No answer and the Atlantian just sets the game back.

"Okay Wally, you have to give up one thing in this room forever, but you won't die because of it, this includes food in general, and video games, what do you give up?" Roy asks.

"... I'm going to give up Dick, because I love food and video games too much," Wally decides.

Roy starts laughing wildly, shortly followed by Dick.

Kaldur looks bewildered and Wally blushes madly.

"I didn't mean that kind! I hate you, Roy!" The speedster cries.

"What kind? What is so funny?" Kaldur once again, gets no answer as the redheads get in a fist fight.


	14. Oh! The Others!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sequel to Too Many, my quote.

After getting Helena patched up because apparently she was messing around in a window and fell out, Bruce gets a phone call.

"Hello?" He frowns, not knowing who would be calling him on his personal phone.

"Hey, Bruce, did you forget something?" Luke asks.

"Did I?" The exasperated hero asks.

"Yeah! Us!" Harper chimes in.

"You dropped us off at the theater three hours ago, and just left!" Kate complains.

"You three?" Bruce questions, still feeling like that's too few...

"Us three, plus Matt and Carey," Luke sighs.

"Okay, I'm on my way, but next time, you could walk, a majority of you are adults, and, you're trained in martial arts," the Dark Knight starts to head out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Cruden for reminding me about Matt and Carey! You rock.


	15. Cannibalism

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Quote!  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> Except at the end but that doesn't really count, because he was consciously quoting it.

"They're our people! Yours especially!" Garth yells as Garfield walks in.

"A. Racist. B. They eat each other all the time!" La'gaan argues.

"I'm not being racist! I'm stating facts!" The older Atlantian argues.

"And the facts are, Garth, that it isn't a damn crime!" The younger yells.

"Guys! Guys!" Garfield steps in before there's fists thrown.

"What?" Both look at the child.

"La'gaan...fish are friends, not food," The youngest in the room turns to a cheetah and takes off before he can be hit.

Both Atlantians crack up and kinda just forget about the fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so y'all know, I love getting comments, even if you just say something like "This is some OOC bullshit" I just want to know what you guys liked, or didn't like, and I know I post at least three chapters at a time, but comment on any chapter and I'll try to respond, unless there's not a lot to say about it.


	16. Tips From Jason Todd 1: Insults Done Right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Quote! 
> 
> Also, I don't really know canon ages for the batkids, but for this, Dick is a young adult(21-25~)  
> Jason is in his late teens(17-19)  
> Tim's in his mid teens(14-16)  
> Damian's in his preteens(10-12)  
> Helena's in her early teens(13-14)   
>  Terry is like 5-9  
> I'll update you on the others' ages as they become important.

Damian and Helena are spewing curses and insults at one another when Jason walks in.

"Oh come on, you two can't be fighting like that!" The Outlaw condemns.

"Shut up, Todd," Damian growls.

"Yeah, Jay, Damian's being an ass, I can fight him if I want to," Helena growls.

"No, I mean you're not digging deep enough, “ass” and “hussy”? Come on, Lian's called me worse, what about “mommy issue ass hat” or “cock loving bitch” you gotta mean what you say!" Jason explains.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's 4 am, I haven't slept in the past three days, and I'm laying in bed, eating string cheese, if the next six chapters don't make any sense, or have typos, please, be kind about them, I'm miserable.


	17. Da Vinci

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not my quote.
> 
> Takes place before Jade brings him Lian.

"Sorry to call you out here for nothing, Red Arrow," Nightwing apologizes after a false report.

"I can't believe you wasted my time on this," Roy complains.

"“Wasted your time?” You were just drinking!" Dick frowns.

"Oh, and I suppose Da Vinci was just paintin'," the archer rolls his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize the quote?


	18. Cassie, No

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not My Quote

"So I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or for 1 minute at 4000," Cassie mumbles as she bakes with Diana.

"Cassie, no! That's Not How You Bake Cookies!" The older cries.

"Floor it?" The younger asks.

"Cassie! No!"

"How about 4,000,000 degrees for one second?" The blonde girl asks as she starts to set oven.

"Cassie! You're Going To Burn The House Down!" The dark haired woman moves the child away from the oven, not realizing at this point she's joking.

"I'm Going To Harness The Fucking Sun To Make Cookies!" Cassie declare.

"Cassie! Please!" Diana makes her sidekick sit down in the other room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize The Quote?
> 
> I don't know why, but I really love the thought of the mentors hanging out with their sidekicks, just being together, like family.
> 
> Which most of them are.


	19. Superman Being A Dad, Take 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Quote!

"Hey Conner!" Clark sees his "son" as he comes to check on the Team.

"Hey," Conner hums, watching his static.

"Um... How's school?" Superman sits with him, hoping to get some proper bonding time in.

"Fine.." SuperBoy shrugs.

"Still seeing M'gann?"

"Yes..."

"You pretty happy in general?" The Man Of Steel gives a fake smile.

"Guess so," The Boy Of Steel nods.

"Awesome, see you next week," Clark stands and leaves.

"Great Talk!" Conner calls after him.


	20. Hello!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My quote

M'gann is hanging out with her and Conner's Happy Harbor friends, walking home with each of them, when she remembers she has something to give Karen.

"Hello, Megan!" She hits her head then reaches into her bag.

She pauses though, because as she finishes Marvin says "Goodbye Megan!"

They stare at each other for a long moment before Wendy just starts laughing.

"Good timing," Mal laughs.


	21. Sure, Bart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My quote.

"Shut up, Wally I do not!" Bart crosses his arms and pouts.

"Do not what?" Jaime asks as he gets done training with Batgirl.

"Nothing!" Bart cries, turning towards the older hero, immediately regretting it.

Jaime is shirtless and dripping sweat.

The younger speedster's cheeks turn bright red and he can't make eye contact with him.

"Nothing, Blue. Just family stuff," Wally pulls his little cousin away from the others.

"You totally have a crush on him," the redheaded man teases once they're out of earshot.

"Shut up!" Bart cries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the shipping stuff, couldn't resist.


	22. I Mean, Yeah...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not My Quote!

"Why is your answer to everything violence, Damian?" Bruce asks in exasperation after prying the child away from Tim.

"When I told mother I was scared of the thing in my closet she gave me a sword," Damian crosses his arms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do You Recognize The Quote?


	23. Are You Okay, Barry?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My quote, like, literally a conversation between me and my brother.

Diana sees Barry sitting in the corner, looking dazed.

"Barry, are you alright?" The Amazon asks.

"I just stress ate a whole loaf of bread and drank half a gallon of milk, I may need professional help," the speedster whispers.


	24. Done, Over, No Take Backs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if this is mine or not...

Catwoman sits on a roof, just looking over the city when the Big Bad Bat sits next to her.

"Let me ask you something," she begins.

"No," he denies.

"Just a quick question, nothing more, nothing less," Selina hums.

"Fine, one question," Bruce agrees, knowing that it's the only way to get her to stop.

"If the world ended tomorrow, no chance of survival for anyone, and no repercussions for what you do on your last day, what would you spend today doing?" The cat themed anti-hero asks, no playfulness in her voice, no joke to it; she honestly wants to know.

"The same thing I do when the world isn't going to end, protect Gotham, and my friends and family, the end of the world changes nothing, I have a job, and I'm going to do it," the bat themed vigilante explains.

"Wow, Bats, you're so boring," Catwoman rolls her eyes, leaping off the building.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously, do you recognize the quote? It might literally be from Batman, I was on some pain meds when I wrote this one and can't remember.


	25. No, Roy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not My Quote

Jason and Roy take Tim out for a few drinks after a drug bust all three of them managed to get in on.

"I'm 17...I can't drink.." Tim whispers.

"Come on, Timmy, have a little fun," Jason chides.

"Yeah, Timmy, loosen up," Roy joins.

"He's the only one who gets to call me that," Tim huffs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's paraphrased... But do you recognize the quote?


	26. Not The Answer...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not My Quote

"If I fail this test I may as well quit school and become a prostitute," Stephanie whines, slamming her head on the table.

"We're rich," Dick reminds her.

"You'd make a decent prostitute," Harper chimes in.

"I'd make an amazing prostitute!" Stephanie argues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize The Quote?


	27. Superman Being A Dad: Take 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Quote!!!

"Superman, can Conner come over to my house tonight?" Wally asks as the hero walks in.

Superman freezes like a deer in a headlight and looks between all of the children.

"D-did he do his homework?"

"It's summer.." Robin frowns.

"Chores?"

"You have chores, for real?" Rocket sounds like she's amazed by even the prospect.

Conner shakes his head, "Not that I know of..."

"Don't kill anyone, don't get anyone pregnant, and please, for the love of everything, if something happens call Batman," The Man Of Steel hightails it out of the Cave.


	28. I'm A Man! I Swear!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Quote, Peer pressure warning

Ed looks at the bottle in front of him.

"What's wrong, Ed, never drank beer?" Tye asks.

"O-of course I've drank beer, what kind of pussy am I?" He defends, taking it, and looking at it.

"Ed, really, if you're not comfortable you don't have to, Tye won't say anything," Virgil grabs Tye by his ear, "Will you?"

"Ow dude! No, I won't tease him, let go!" Tye fights the oldest for his freedom.

"No, I'm going to do it!" Ed takes a swig and spits it back out, gagging.

Sam pats his back and gives him a thumbs up.


	29. He's Not Talking About The Dance...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Quote!

"Why so glum, Vic?" Barry asks as he sits by his fellow Leaguer.

"Nothing," Victor moves away from the smaller man.

"Leave him alone, Shrimpy, he's just upset most women don't do the robot, if you catch my drift," Arthur calls.

"THAT IS NOT MY PROBLEM, OH MY GOD!" Cyborg cries, covering his face.


	30. Tips From Jason Todd 2: When In Doubt...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Quote!

Dick finds Jason, Tim, Helena, and Damian with a dead body.

"What the actual hell happened here?!" Dick demands.

"Red Robin did it!" Red Hood accuses.

* * *

"Jay, you killed that guy.." Helena crosses her arms as they get to the BatCave.

"Yeah, but Tim gets his ass chewed way less, and is definitely the go to guy to blame shit on," the older shrugs.

"Not get lectured _and_ Drake gets in trouble? I like this idea," Damian muses.


	31. Hal Is Miserable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mostly my quote

Hal stares into space for a long while before John(Stewart)finally snaps in front of his face.

"You okay?" The other Green Lantern asks.

"You know, I get why people fake their deaths, dead people don't have taxes to worry about, or a public appearance to maintain, and when people talk shit about dead people, they're automatically the bad person.." Hal sighs.

"Hal, no, you are not faking your death, end of story," John puts his foot down.


	32. Smooth Recovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Quote!

Billy apologizes for the thousandth time to Guy for dropping his favorite mug.

"It's fine, Cap, just...I don't know, sometimes I swear you're as clumsy as a child," The Green Lantern sighs. 

"I-I-I'm not a child! I'm an adult! I'm old...haha...I'm in my twenties and everything...beer.." Captain Marvel starts swearing profusely.

"Captain Marvel! Superman needs to talk to you!" Batman yells as he enters.

The child in a man's body runs like hell.


	33. He's Not Wrong...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not My Quote!

Bruce is introducing each of his kids to reporters when Duke interrupts him, "Hi, I'm Duke, I'm The Good One."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize The Quote?  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> Damn this one is short...
> 
> But Duke needs more in here.


	34. This Is Why Stephanie Brown Will Never Be An Adult

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Quote!

Alfred hears noise coming from the kitchen of the Manor and goes to investigate.

He finds Stephanie, on the floor of the kitchen, not a single light on in the room, with a plate of three pop tarts and four sticks of string cheese in front of her, another pop tart in her hands, at 2 am.

"What in the world are you doing?" He asks.

"Eating dinner," the teen shrugs, taking another bite of her pop tart.

"Stephanie, we have food, actual food, come on, I'll make you something better than that," the butler helps her to her feet, turning on the kitchen light and making her sit at the table.

"The love I never felt as a child...it's all right here.." Stephanie mumbles, laying her head on the table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A conversation between me and my father, the next three(this one included) are all conversations that happened why I was on my little break.
> 
> My siblings and I were with our Dad, and I didn't have a lot of time to myself to write. Please accept the stupid things we said as an apology.


	35. Superman Being A Dad, Take 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Quote!

Clark is reading in the Tower when a call comes onto the monitor from the Cave.

"Robin? What's going on?" He asks.

"Conner has locked himself in his room and is yelling at, assumably, a wall," the boy wonder explains.

"A wall?"

"Correct," the teen nods again.

"It's more like he's arguing...and losing," Artemis rephrases.

"...I'll be right there," Superman sighs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Superman: My dad, though he was at the store, not “work”  
> Robin: Me  
> Artemis: My younger sister.  
> And finally SuperBoy: My youngest brother, who got pissed at the fact he couldn't beat me in Mario Kart.


	36. I Was Never Trained a For This!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Quote!

Oliver watches as Roy very politely clears the table after breakfast.

 

Once the redhead disappears into the kitchen Oliver looks to Dinah, "Are we sure that's our Roy?"

 

"Him and I had a talk about his behavior," Black Canary explains.

 

"A talk talk, or a _talk_ talk?" Green Arrow asks.

 

"...I told him if he was better behaved for a week he'd be allowed to lose the hat for a day," Dinah sighs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oliver: My Dad  
> Dinah: My step mom  
> Roy: My younger brother, who has no manners, and yell a lot.  
> My step mom offered him Frozen Yogurt, not the removal of a stupid hat for a day.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> [Hey, Just So You Know, I Take Requests Here, Ships, Quotes, X Reader Stuff](https://rosie39.tumblr.com/post/177500739063/i-want-your-help-with-my-december-story%22)


	37. What Is Love?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Baby Don't Hurt Me,

"NightWing, can I talk to you?" Jaime speaks quietly.

"Sure, what's up, Blue?" The older hero agrees.

"I have...this...I...I have a crush...and I don't know what to do, because my parents would disapprove, but I can't just change my feelings.." BlueBeetle sighs.

"On who?" NightWing asks, excitement in his voice.

"I don't see why it matters...but Bart.." The younger hero admits.

"Yes! Conner owes me five dollars!" Dick cheer, before clearing his throat, "Um, look, do what your heart tells you, if your parents have a problem with it they can get over it. If they kick you out I know at least six good people that will take you in in a heartbeat, okay?"

"Thanks..? I think?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No More.
> 
> Also this was my quote! :)


	38. Nate Is High Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not My Quote
> 
> Also the first LOT chapter! Yay!

"Nate how are those chicken strips?" Ray asks, seeing Nate glaring at the chicken strips in front of him.

"FUCK YA CHICKEN STRIPS!" Nate yells.

"Are You Two Fighting?!" Sara calls.

"FUCK YA CHICKEN STRIPS!" Nate repeats and Ray facepalms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize The Quote?


	39. Wait, What?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not My Quote

"Hey, I got something for you," Artemis comes up to Zatanna, handing her some money.

"What's this?" Zatanna hums.

"Eight hundred and twelve bucks," Artemis explains.

"Well, I don't know what Big Leon told you but it's an even thousand if you want me for the whole night," Zatanna crosses her arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize The Quote?


	40. Easy M'gann

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not My Quote.

"This has been like my dream ever since I got my first Easy-Bake Oven and opened "Easy M'gann's Bakery"." M'gann cheers at finding out J'on pulled a few strings and got her a job as a cook.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize The Quote?


	41. Tips From Jason 3: Babs' Soft Spot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Quote

"Hey, Babs, I got you this," Jason gives Barbra a computer chip.

"Thanks," the redhead smiles.

Jason spots the two younger Bat Kids watching with confusion as Barbra wheels away.

"Bruce is pretty blind, but Babs? She catches everything, but is easily bought off," Jason winks as he walks away.


	42. Help!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not My Quote!

Jason and Tim are trying to escape a facility, and are currently in an elevator, trying to figure out what to do about the guards at the top since they were stripped of their gear.

"Hey, let's do 'Get Help'," Jason offers.

"What?" Tim frowns.

"'Get Help'," Jason repeats.

"No," Tim denies.

"Come on. You love it," Jason exclaims.

"I hate it," Tim shakes his head.

"It's great. It works every time."

"It's humiliating."

"Do you have a better plan?"

"No."

"We're doing it," Jason insists.

"We are not doing 'Get Help'," Tim growls.

Jason carries Tim out of the elevator in front of the guards.

"Get help! Please! My brother is dying! Get help! Help him!" Jason cries over dramatically.

As the guard approach them, Jason throws Tim at them, knocking them down.

"A classic," Jason cheers.

Tim gets up and dusts himself off, "I still hate it. It's humiliating."

"Not for me, it's not," Jason laughs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize The Quote?


	43. You Two Faced Bitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not My Quote!

Nate and Zari are looking for Ray after he's gone missing, **again**.

What they find instead is Nora Darhk.

"What is it this time, Nora?" Nate sighs.

"Nothing, Nathaniel, but you're searching the wrong time if you want to find your boyfriend," Nora smirks, before taking off.

"Can I shoot her?" Nate asks Zari.

"Not in public.." Zari sighs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize The Quote?


	44. <Sorry Title Not Found>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot of set up before it, but it's still not my _Quote_

The entire Bat-Family is convinced Dick is dead, and are mourning in the Bat-Cave.

Tim is leaning against Barbara, both crying.

Jason has Stephanie on one side, Helena on the other, trying to console both girls, while trying his best not to cry too.

Damian hasn't shed a tear, but he's secluded himself from the others in a corner.

Duke is sitting silent, cheeks glistening with tears, holding himself.

Bruce disappeared the second they got home.

Harper is sitting with Kate, rubbing her back.

"What's with all the tears?" Dick asks, walking in.

Jason throws an empty can at him, "Piss off, ghost!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize the quote after all that sad shit to make it seem real?


	45. Superman Being A Dad: Take 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Quote!

"What's an STD?"

Clark chokes on his coffee when Conner asks this.

He wipes his mouth, coughing.

"Um...you uh...you heard of cooties?" He begins.

"Yeah? Kinda?" Conner nods.

"They're super cooties, anymore questions, ask Batman," Clark runs away.


	46. Jason! No!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Quote!  
> [on the phone]

[Jay

<https://www.halloweencostumes.com/womens-plus-size-bad-habit-nun-costume.html>

A slutty nun? Isn't that the an oxymoron?

You're an oxymoron, Tim.

Why are you sending me this?

I want to be a slutty nun for Halloween.

Why?!

BECAUSE I WANT BE A SLUTTY NUN!

Have Fun! Stay Away From Children!

I ALWAYS DO!]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next 3(including this one)are all texting related, and based off of texts between me and my best friend, who sent me that link.
> 
> My best friend is a man...


	47. Why Do You Want To Know?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My quote!

[Cassie-Cass  
Hey Bart.  
Hey Cassie  
How tall are you?  
IDK? Abt as tall as Robin, Y?  
Reasons  
Cassie, r u trying 2 purchase a box 2 ship me somewhere? Cause it won't work!  
Nope, just doing research...  
Cassie, ur scaring me!  
Goodnight.  
CASSIE?!?!?!?!]


	48. Hal...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Quote!  
> (...) is a passing of time, around three minutes each.

[Hal Jordan  
John...I'm lost...  
You have a gps on your phone.  
That doesn't work when I'm not on earth...  
How are you texting me?  
(...)  
Hal?  
(...)  
Hal seriously!  
(...)  
Hal! Don't fucking move, I'm going to find you!  
(The next day)  
I still hate you, Hal, just so you know.  
I was high and scared!  
You were in your house!  
I was high and scared, and in the basement!  
I thought you were dead!  
I'm sorry.  
No you're not, not yet.  
Oh no...]


End file.
